2 November 2004

Payday, Dubbya, Dawn of the Dead and George Lucas.

It has been quite a while since I last posted here, so I feel that the time is right to return, particularly as I don't want to distress my loyal army of fans (Thanks, ae) any more than I have to.

To be honest, my life has been so disappointing recently that I haven't even had the energy to write anything. The disappointment consumes me. I shall explain shortly.

And the worst thing? Even worse than the fact that Dubbya might, just might, win the next election and stay in power (man, I'll sleep soundly in my bed knowing that fundamentalist warmongering lunatic has his pretzel-sticky finger hovering over The Button for the next 4 years) is that the thing that disappoints me most is...myself.

Example. Pay day. What shall I be doing? I shall be purchasing the directors cut of the Dawn of the Dead remake on DVD. I can't help myself. It wasn't a patch on Romero's original, but I kind of liked it.
Thus, once more, I shall be hoovering up whatever Hollywood throws in my general direction. Oh! Apart from one thing. The Star Wars DVD boxset. I haven't bought it and I never will. I used to worship George Lucas when I was a kid- he was my bearded saviour (I was never very original, even as a child). But now what does he do? He takes my childhood, throws it into his cavernous mouth, goiter* wobbling like a hairy blancmange, and sucks all the joy out before hawking it into a spitoon of similarly drained and twisted childhoods. The bastard.

I have many other things to tell you, but not right now. I shall guard them jealously for my time is close at hand....

*George Lucas' goiter. I have my own theory on this. Now that he is officially worth more than anyone else in the world (possibly even everyone else in the world added together) he has decided to have the largest diamond in existence sewn into his greedy throat. Why? Because he can. I weep for the children. Although I am really looking forward to Revenge of the Sith. Come on, how bad can it be really? It HAS to be better than the other two, surely? Oh God.....

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