15 January 2005

Alcohol and Depression

They (they, of course, being that ephemeral, undefined group of moral guardians who, unbidden and often unappreciated, dispense advice to the slimy, unkempt, unsavoury masses) say that alcohol is a depressant.

Well, let me tell you that alcohol is not a depressant. I am, as we speak (or type or read or whatever the fuck it is that your contribution to this is) extraordinarily, lavishly, quite unfeasibly drunk and, personally, I don't believe a word of it. Alcohol is not, repeat NOT, a depressant. I should know.

Anyone who says otherwise (THEY for instance) are merely trying to ruin what is already a pointless, depressing, ultimately very disappointing life.

Don't believe them. Alcohol is good. It is our saviour.

God, I'm so depressed....

p.s. I soooo love being me. I can be really pissed off all the time and get away with it because of this blog. This is the best thing I ever did. Apart from that thing with those Asian twins. That was pretty good too.

p.p.s. I didn't really do anything with Asian twins. If there are any American ladies out there who find me strangely attractive, don't be put off by my bluff exterior and claims of enjoying a menage a trois. I'm really very nice.

p.p.p.s. If there are any Asian twins out there who find me strangely attractive, don't be put off by my penchant for American ladies. I'm really very dirty.


Peeved Michelle said...

I'd stick with the Asian ladies.

Joanne said...

Mmm... Rum. I love rum, rummy rum! Actually how can anything that tastes as yummy as rum be a depressent. I don't think {THEY} know what they are talking about. Is 8 in the morning too early for rum?

Cindy-Lou said...

They talk a lot, don't they?
"Alcohol is our saviour"? Sign me up for that religion! I think I started my conversion classes last night, and I have another scheduled for tonight. I have to say though, you write much better drunk than I do.