13 January 2005

Freestyle blogging

It is 1 a.m. here in lil ol' England and I can't sleep. Thus, I have decided to post something on the blog.

Trouble is, I don't have anything prepared so I've decided to ad lib. Yes, oh faithful readership, this will be an unabridged, unedited, unexpurgated and, probably, uninteresting post. Replete with spelling mistakes and poor grammar too, no doubt.

So, what do I write about? Erm...

I know! I'll give you a fascinating insight into a day in my life! Joy oh joy...

I couldn't get to sleep last night until 2.30 a.m. Then I had a nightmare in which I murdered someone and was so shocked by the experience that I woke up. Didn't get back to sleep for another half hour. Woke up at 5.30 and hit the snooze button repeatedly until about 8.00. Arrived at work late. (See? The disappointment starts even at that time in the morning...)

Had an uneventful day at work.

Popped round to my lady friend's house because she's off work sick at the moment. Had a cup of tea. Caught the wrong bus home and had to get off and wait for another one.

Ate a chicken stir-fry which was made by my flatmate. She is one of the worst cooks in the world. No really. The stir-fry contained whole spring onions (scallions, for transatlantic readers). For some reason, she didn't realise that they should probably be chopped. To make matters worse, she always cooks stir-fries on a low heat, but at the normal timings. Thus, the vegetable were 'al dente'. I've had better meals.

I then set up her new PC for her. Also tidied my room, which included cleaning my PC. I removed each key from the keyboard individually, wiped them thoroughly with a soft cloth and replaced them. You've never really known desperation and despair until you've done something like that.

Watched TV.

Dyed my flatmate's hair. She cut my hair. Now my neck itches.

Drank a glass of vodka.

Logged on to the Internet.

And so, here I am!

I'm 31 years old and that was my day.

Now perhaps you can understand what a deep personal disappointment my life is in so many ways.

To make matters worse, I've just realised that there isn't a single amusing thing in this entire post. God almighty in heaven, today has been such a waste...

More fascinating insights next time.

12 comments:

Peeved Michelle said...

The part about removing each key and cleaning it was amusing. What sort of job do you have?

Anonymous said...

What I would like to know is what you'd done to make the keys so dirty.................

Dan said...

Ah, bless you Michelle, my loyal American reader.

I have decided to revisit the post at some point and make it more amusing. A valuable lesson has been learnt - spontaneity: good in the bedroom, bad in blogs.

Sadly, I cannot tell you about my job due to legal reasons. In fact, check the following link for a scary story about including employer information in blogs:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4167629.stm

You see? Post personal information, you should not. Dangerous, it is...

Oh, and I wondered how long it'd take for someone to make the old 'dirty keys' gag. Sigh...

Joanne said...

I'm almost 31 years old, and that basically is my life, minus the lady friend part. I don't even have a man friend. Sigh. Oh, and since I live alone, all the crappy cooking is my fault. What's worse, I eat it even when I know it is bad.

Peeved Michelle said...

Paranoid you are. That Scottish dude was tame. American chicks at least spew some real venom on the blogs that get them fired.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mister - at least I took the time to leave a comment. Even if it was the fairly obvious 'dirty key' one. A little apprecication for your readers wouldn't go amiss.

Dan said...

From the bottom of my heart, I genuinely appreciate all of my readers and their input.
No, really...

Anonymous said...

And I genuinely appreciate your appreciation. No, really..

Dan said...

And I genuinely appreciate your appreciation of....whatever. Bearded devil, your anonymous posts are becoming obvious. Oh yes.

Joanne, you're single and can't cook? Come to England! Live with me! I can cook for you and we can go for romantic walks and then go back to my place and rut like horny wildebeest.

Was that too much? It was. It was too much. I need to learn self-restraint...

cyber-hussy said...

Well not that obvious since it wasn't the Bearded Devil. It was me. I am now registered. I am so disappointed with myself.....

Joanne said...

Rock on! I'm on the next flight out.

Dan said...

Woo yay!
I'll be at the airport, waiting with a sign. Haven't decided what it'll say yet. Maybe just 'Wildebeest'.