DrunkSense

Regular readers (both of you) may remember that I wrote a post a while back on the excellent product Pawsense. Linkage here: http://blogeternaldisappointment.blogspot.com/2004/12/microwaves-and-cats.html

Re-reading some of my recent posts, some of which were melancholically tapped out whilst I was 'much disguised in drink', I have decided to invent something called 'DrunkSense'.

Drunksense (tm) is a piece of software which you can run on your PC as a background application and if at any point you arrive home as pissed as a lemur and decide that you want to share your pain with the world, it will detect the agonisingly slow key depressions, whilst conducting an internal log of how many times you press the backspace key to delete your repeated spelling mistakes, and lock you out.

If you attempt to resume your drunken ramblings, the PC will play 'I Can't Live (If Living Is Without You)' until you're reduced to pitiful, sobbing tears, whereupon you shambolically stumble off to bed and collapse, fully clothed, into the covers. It's a kind of audial Mace.

Thus, when you awake the following morning, you don't have to gingerly log in to your blog to a) witness the self-pitying torrent of spleen you have vented on to the World Wide Internet and b) cringe when you realise how many people have already read it and are dolefully shaking their heads and wondering how long it'll be before you finally cave in and deliberately drown yourself in a sinkful of dirty dishes.

I think it's a winner.